Black, Successful, Single, and Male...Whats wrong with you?

When talking about being black, successful, and single the discussion usually about females. This topic dominates black radio, tv, and blogs. Round table discussion are seemingly held amongst are sisters at a monthly rate to tackle the issue. I have my opinions as to why this is an issue and solutions but im here to tackle the other side of the coin...the single brotha. Im not talking about the undesirable dudes im diagnosing the successful one who seem to be traded more frequently that Randy Moss. For me its fundamental and I will break it down as such into the roots of that word fun, fund, and mental...starting with the MENTAL. In a lot of cases black males (and females) are born into familes with out a father or a quality relationship for young boys to observe up close. As a young boy/man you see your mother struggle with relationships and even though you love your mother you blame her subconsciously because as a man its easy to see thing from the male point of view and harder from the females perspective. You see how hard it is to make a relationship work from an early age and like most things that are hard you avoid it rather than embracing it and overcoming the issue. Growning up my uncles told me to have FUN and don't settle down to early but they always fail to say don't settle down to late. Im 29 and too tell my brothers who are 17 and 18 to have fun but I say it with somewhat of a disclaimer. If you want to date multiple girls do it. If you don't want the responsibility of a now don't get in one because you have enough to think about such as college and a career path. But lastly I tell them if a good one comes along who treats you right don't pass over it like god women come along all the time because contrary to what most media says black women can be just as messed up as black men. You see most of us men want to have as much fun as possible which usually mean hooking up with a few women along the way and hanging out with our homeboys whenever we want. I once thought this was as well...but I grew up. I still like chillen with the fellas and wish I could do it more but shit, I wish I could stay home and play videogames more as well but I bring my ass to work. Why? Because you have to find balance. The way I see it is what I want to do and what I have to do go hand and hand. In order for me to even play videogames for just an hour I have to work so that I can pay the electric bill, have a nice tv to play them on, and be able to buy new ones when I want. Same applies to relationships. In order to be with fine, intelligent, black women I have to be in a relationship because no black women of quality is going to let you cum and go as you please...pun intended. What ends up happening is as you reach a certain level of success you Funds increase and then you start thing all these women want you for is your loot so you aint gonna let that happen. Plus you see all these young girls and somewhere in your head you believe they want you cause of your looks but in reality all they want is the money. What you look like doesn't matter as long as your card looks platinum and your rims look shiney. As I mentioned I'm 29 and I consider myself a successful, good looking black man. I've reached many of my goals and are working to reach new ones and I can say I dont want to be playing the field at 40 nor do I want to be that old dude at Love that remembers when it was Dream, trying to be cool with people half my age. Women out number us in the DC metropolitan area and when you factor in the incarceration rates and gay men, we really have our pick. Maybe thats the problem. You ever go to buy a car and they just have too many with too many options and it takes hours to pick one? Maybe thats the problem. We have our pick and we know it so we can wait as long as we want. The reality is black women are not waiting for us as men of other races swoop in to have a taste of what we've been eating (and dont say you don't) all this time. These men have everything we have and more (good credit). So while they are getting the attention of our sistas your chillen probably gay or waiting for a blond hair, blue eye Becky to call your own. Lol but even they turn into 270 pound Rossannes but hey I guess an eye for and eye.

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Oscar Grant: Wake Up, Stand Up, And Man Up.

Here we go again. Another instance of a black man being gunned down, not by one of our own like the media seems to always show, but by another police officer. I'm sure most of you know the story or have heard about Oscar Grant being shot in the back of his head as he was held down by police. The officer was sentenced to just 2 years. The jury said that there was sufficient evidence to believe the officer thought the weapon he was firing not his pistol but his taser. How does an a police officer not know when he is holding a gun or a taser? Shit, even a toddler knows the difference between his dick and balls. What a lame reason not to levy a "real" sentence on this man. this is the video of the shooting. you can here the gun shot around the 2:52 mark http://youtu.be/jFNDK8PQGNw. Very sad. I guess it's a coincidence that Mississippi Burning is on as I write this. Out of this tragedy comes many blacks protesting this unfortunate act of violence as so often happens when a black man is done wrong by those with power in this country and it gets national attention. My wish for us (blacks) is to stand up whenever these things happen... the ones that don't get media coverage. This isn't the first time this has happened nor will it be the last until we bring attention to all the misdeeds that are done to our own. it also means that we must stand together behind the scenes and in public. We are to divided between the haves and the have nots. We have too many blacks who don't want to risk loosing their middle class life to stand up and the poor blacks who keep allowing our own youth to destroy our own communities and dim our future. My mind is so jumbled with thoughts on this whole situation I'm finding it hard t get everything out so I will just say a few things I think we need to do.

1. Vote: Media says only 4.7% of us voted. That's ridiculous. If you want to be heard this is a way to get every ones attention.

2. Education: We need more blacks attending college and trade schools.

3. Politics: We need more of us running for public office. We also need to understand how government works from our local officials all the way to the President.

4. Non-Profits: We have so many organizations out here to help us with various issues. We need to seek them out.

5. Unity: Speaks for itself.

Those are some key things I think we should work on but I know there are so many others so help when and where you can. Since King and X, we have come far but it seems we are going full circle with another black man killed and a white man getting off easy... and that's the reality of the situation.

Mossed Out

At some point I had to chime in officially on this Randy Moss thing. I want to make it clear that I am and will always be a Randy fan. He is the most gifted receiver ever to play in the NFL. Few will deny that fact but unfortunately few will deny blaming him for everything that has took place Minnesota or New England. It seems Brad Childress may not know what he is doing. He traded a 3rd rd pick to get Moss, and I like most old Minny fans were happy Moss was home and we were waiting for the fire works...well we got them...sort of. Randy was brought in to stretch the field and allow Percy Harvin to play the slot position where he is most comfortable. While Moss' numbers dont jump off the page check out Percy's before Moss/after Moss numbers. They improved. The problem is the Vikings were not the team from last year. The defense went from being top 5 to not mentioned at all (where the hell is Jared Allen?). The offense sputtered like like a 1970 Gremlin with Bret Favre driving like a 88 year old man on Sunday. Bringing Randy in was like adding a spoiler to a car that just needed to be junked and when the car wouldn't start it was the spoilers fault. Lol, even Stevie Wonder can see where the blame should be placed...at Brad Childress door step like a burning pile of dog shit and then a little piss should be sprinkled on Favre's lawn. Rumor has it Childress (who I might start calling Chilli because this drama reminds me of the short lived reality show What chilli wants) didn't like Randy's post game remarks after the NE beat down. According to many reports Chilli will come down on players who speak out against the "team agenda". Funny how fast Chilli forgets how he threw Favre under the bus after that Greenbay game saying Bret needs to play in the system. When has Bret ever played in a "system"? It's well documented that those two have banged heads before. Next is Bret. He is a HOF player whos time has ran out. At some point you need to step aside. How the hell is a 41 year old man playing pro football w/ a bad elbow and 2 broken bones in his foot? If Chilli had any balls he would have benched him for health reasons and poor play and started Tavaris Jackson but he how could he after he hand delivered Bret $18 milly in straight cash homey (Randy voice)? He has been picking up Bret's dry cleaning (do you dry clean Wranglers?) and washing his John Deer tractor every Sunday. Most outsiders think Childress has lost his locker room even before Randy got there and I think this was a way to show who has the power...lol guess he forgot to tell the Vikes owner Zigi Wilf. So Randy Gets waived and people say he was a distraction to the team. Lol oh really? So what would you call the on going Favre saga? They look at New England and say they had to get rid of Moss because he's a cancer. The truth is they did what they do to all great players once its time to pay...trade them. Was Randy Showing his displeasure with them not giving him a contract extention? Yes. Do you know why? Randy was making $18 mil a year when the Pats aquired him from Oakland and he restructured his deal for "the team". Was Tom Brandy a very good player before Randy? Yes, but with Randy people put him on Peyton's level as the 2 shattered records. Since the trade Tom and Bill Belichick have both raved about Randy's skills and how much of a "team" guy he ways. Yet, the media has tried to spend that story going as far as reporting on an "alleged" argument between Randy and Tom over Randy's beard and Tom's hair. Really im not making this up. They said he "quit in Oakland. Who doesn't? Shit, John Madden isn't walking on that sideline anymore. That was the worst place for him to land...until this most recent stint with the Vikes. Last but not least I blame the NFL. We live in a society that loves "reality". Why is it that players should have to talk to the media after a bad loss? If you watched Randy's interview he was clearly emotional and if his history in the NFL tells us anything its that he is going to speak his mind. So when he chose not to speak with the media last week he was fined $25 grand. You want the media/fans to connect with players like never before and then you want to sensor it. Can't have it both ways. It's very sad how this is turning out but it may be for the best. As for everyone counting Randy Moss out, I say look how he responded when you thought he was washed up in Oakland and he landed in New England. He was straight cash homey!

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Going in Circles

I mentioned in my last post that their are many programs built for us by us (no fubu lmao) that our own people don't take advantage of. I found this increasingly true when I did Supplied for Success, Beyond Today, Inc's first event. A simple school drive to donate backpacks full of the school supplies to less fortunate kids. I want to say that Supplied for Success was a success as you can see here http://www.facebook.com/pages/Beyond-TodayInc/393687023474 and Y.O.U.R Community center was instrumental in helping me partner with West Education Center in D.C. to get these supplies into that hands of their students. The end product was great but getting there was a struggle. We contacted countless schools by email,mail,and phone through out Baltimore, P.G County, and D.C. We also reached out to several churches. No luck with any of that. We were told to just drop it off (yeah so it can just sit in some broom closet). We were told by many administrations that they would have to check with someone else. We were told that they have already partnered with another organization (as if more than one is a bad thing). In most cases we never spoke to the "decision maker" and when we did we found that these leaders were really not in the lead. These people really were not chiefs but really just Indians dressed to play the part. I dare not mention which schools and churches were unwilling to work with us for a greater good because maybe they will see the error in their ways and work on being better. The lack of leadership and partnership is disgusting. We have more than one problem in our community therefor it requires many working partnerships to reach a common goal. In this particular situation those in charge drag their feet and while they keep moving at a snail like pace its the kids who get stuck. If you have someone willing to help it is your duty to take advantage of it. Just because I'm not your frat brother, I don't attend your church, or we didn't grow up together doesn't mean we shouldn't share a circle. It appears to me by not letting an outsider in you just keep going in circles http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gveKzSOalRY&feature=channel.

20/20 Doesn't always mean you can see everything!

I was listening to the Russ Parr Show this morning and he spoke about blacks not taking full advantage of the resources in America like foreigners do. He acknowledge that racism exist and their are things in place to hold us back but we shouldn't use that as an excuse. I kind of agree. I totally agree that their are things such as grants, scholarships, even programs created for us by us (no fubu lmao) to build up our community we don't seek out. What Russ failed to mention is how much our government helps immigrants. Some come here without formal education, yet they get degrees rather quickly. They come here without credit yet receive funds to start businesses. Hell, even some come here without a pot to piss in yet in just a short time have automatic flushing toilets! Make no mistake this has little to do with an immigrant. By all means take advantage of the opportunities given to you. The issue is with our country and a system that was designed to keep blacks behind. I think you can view how rapidly the Hispanic population has grown and how much power they are gaining. The people who created this system and the ones who maintain it have spent all their time focusing on us (blacks) that they left the back door open and a whole lot of people crept in. Washington, Jefferson, and Adams didn't view other races as a threat on American soil when they were building...well actually we (blacks) were building, and they (European Whites) were stealing form the Indians. Other races come to America without having to deal with the 500 year old elephant in the room called slavery. They also don't deal with underfunded schools, imprisoned fathers, and mothers who are left to pick up the pieces of shattered dreams. They also don't have to deal with their leaders being assassinated (MX &MLK) or even their sports hero's being targeted by he media (Vick,Kobe,Tiger,OJ). The paint hasn't even dried on the images from the Jim Crow era. Now when "opportunity" is discussed we must dissect it accordingly because we just don't compete with whites. In a lot of companies diversity doesn't mean more blacks it means more Asians and Hispanics. Don't be fooled by a companies "diversity initiative". If they operate in areas the serve a large number of blacks why is the board of directors always made up of men that look like the father from different strokes? This isn't diversity. I'm not blind to the fact that we have a lot of self inflicted hard. We must improve our standard and way of life. We (blacks) must do better TOGETHER but it seems like were stuck between a rock and a hard place. White America (the rock) who refuses to acknowledge as a whole, that this system holds us back, and foreigners/immigrants (the hard place) who don't understand why we struggle and feel the way we do.

If GOD Is Willing And Da Creek Don't Rise

Shout out to Spike Lee for giving me something to write about. I have been in writers limbo for a while. Last night while watching his documentary on what Katrina did to the gulf and the governments response, it infuriated me . Once again politics took over and non-sense out weighed common sense. Why were faulty barriers built? Why didn't people step up and claim responsibility. Why is it five years later and that part of our country is still in shambles? Homes destroyed, people dead, and families displaced. The government has failed to do what it was set up to do and that is work for the people. Big business and back room deals prevailed. Katrina brought out the best and worst of our society. It showed that we are strong and will work to over come the worst situations. It also showed that we will use any means to manipulate people and make a buck. The human spirit is powerful but so is greed. Have you ever wondered what happens to the money you donate to help people? You make you donation and you sit back and say "I did my part". You call your friends and co-workers and ask about what they are doing to help. Bottom line is for all you know your donation is going to someone who doesn't need it. You put it in the hands of those you view as responsible and expect them to ration it out accordingly but then you see a documentary like If GOD Is Willing.... and you wake up. Jay Z rapped "sure I ponied up a mill but I didn't give my time/ so in reality I didn't give a dime or a damn/ i just put my money in the hands of the same people who left my people stranded". He did what most did and that's the reality of the situation.

http://www.hbo.com/documentaries/if-god-is-willing-and-da-creek-dont-rise/index.html?cmpid=ABC489#/documentaries/if-god-is-willing-and-da-creek-dont-rise/index.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVgYqRX3_XY

Obama looking out for black farmers. More to come.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/18/AR2010021805893.html?hpid=moreheadlines